BONDAGE REALITY
With a willing partner, bondage sex can add several new dimensions to your sex lives. Erotic restraint evokes surprisingly strong emotions around power, surrender, control and pleasure, and the swirl of these new feelings is unpredictably hot. Reality, however, is different than the fantasy, now that you have a real partner. Bondage sex requires trust. There are real things to consider and prepare, like what you’ll use for restraints, or what restrained position would provide the most fun. And most of all, you’re playing with another live human being, and keeping them safe is always first. This is a game where everyone wins.
Bondage is restricting movement by physical restraint, to increase sexual tension, intensity and pleasure; usually it’s one-on-one, but self-bondage also has its fans….! Sexy bondage is where a willing, bound subject is stimulated, teased, pleased, used and taken by a trusted partner, to build intense arousal and unimaginable orgasms for both. The person doing the tying is a dominant (dom or top) and the person being tied is a submissive (sub or bottom). Most people like one role best, although some (“switch”) like to play both sides.
In the switchover from fantasy to reality, there’s something important thing to remember. Adult film stars are sexual athletes, and you are not…! Unusual bondage positions held for too long can result in cramping; very un-sexy. Add to this the unusually-intense feelings created by the inability to move, and there’s reason for taking things slowly to build trust and confidence. Then you can begin to stretch limits and reach for greater pleasures.
PLAYING IT SAFE
Spectacular bondage sex means always considering your submissive’s safety, and all jokes aside, a “safe word” is a good idea; if she’s gagged, then use a pattern of sounds, like three quick “uh-uh-uh” noises. Just be clear that if your bound submissive calls a halt, you must stop whatever you’re doing IMMEDIATELY, to find and fix the cause of the problem. If that means untying her, then untie her…quickly. You might even keep a pair of blunt-tip safety scissors nearby, to cut through rope or restraints. Safety is priority one, and that responsibility rests with the dom. Keep your lovely submissive free from harm, so this is pleasurable for both of you.
There are very real safety concerns inherent in bondage sex, and the hottest, most uninhibited bondage sex will happen when your submissive feels safe, knowing that you’ll respond immediately if she needs to stop the action. Just be aware. If she’s standing with her legs tied together, her balance is up to you. If she’s gagged, make sure she can breathe freely through her nose. And watch out for too-tight restraints; they can cut off circulation. Safety equals sexy.
WHAT IS BDSM?
This popular acronym represents:
BD Bondage and Discipline,
DS Dominance and Submission, and
SM SadoMasochism
Combined, you get BDSM, which covers a wide range of sexual behaviors. Ever since the "Fifty Shades" phenomenon brought bondage sex into the bedroom, cuffs and rope, crops and whips have become a new normal, and are no longer some dark dungeon fetish.
In addition to sexy bondage, BDSM sex adds pain/pleasure play, like spanking and flogging, or nipple clamps, and further sensory deprivation, like blindfolds and gags, which require deeper submission and surrender; the reward is even more intense pleasures. The range of BDSM play is vast, from a playful hand spanking to hard flogging in leather and chains; your preferences are your business, provided everything's consensual. And safe.
Exploring fantasies, feelings, and desires with a willing partner will be a thrilling turn-on, as you imagine what you’re each willing to try, and what you’re not, and then actually do those things…! In addition to the intense pleasures and unimaginable orgasms, BDSM sex also creates deep, satisfying intimacy between partners who’ve shared so much.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!” -anonymous
