SEXY BONDAGE UNIVERSITY

READY...

Spreadeagle bondage is more intense than the Handmaiden or Very Very Missionary, with much greater pleasure potential. Being so completely restrained can be very confronting for the submissive partner, yet the position is also oddly comfortable, which produces a delicious conflict that evokes intense feelings surrounding trust and surrender. And in that rush of feelings and emotions lies tremendous sexual energy; with your partner tied in such an open, vulnerable position, sexual tension builds amazingly fast. Every touch is hotter - there's really nothing she can do to resist you - and the thrills of domination/submission play are felt immediately. Amid the deep pleasures and earth-shattering orgasms that you'll discover, there's a caution, too. You're playing on the sexual edge here, and wild intensity can be unpredictable; for instance, sometimes prolonged arousal turns to anger. At those times, stop the action, take a breath, and reconnect with your partner. Gently make sure her restraints are comfortable, start teasing her again, and the heat will come right back up, even hotter. Sexy bondage is an art, and you might need a few times to get it right. Stay in communication about what works, and what doesn't, for each of you; be adventurous and forgiving together. Remember, it takes two.

 

A word to aspiring, soon-to-be-restrained submissives. Before allowing yourself to be placed in such a helpless position, there's an important safety concern. Before you make yourself this utterly vulnerable to anyone, be 100% sure you trust your partner completely. Talk this over first, agree on limits and establish safe words (yes, you actually do need them...). Be certain that your new dom will take care of you, and stay within your limits, assuring your pleasure as well as their own, and gradually gain your trust, Once you've got these ground rules established, then the fun can truly, unabashedly begin ...!

 

SET...

We want you to enjoy the most mind-blowing sex possible, and so first thing, there's some practical issue to address. Doms, I'm talking to you here: it's your responsibility to prepare in advance for restraining your partner in the spreadeagle position. Unlike tying her wrists together, or even tying them to the headboard, where a simple scarf or belt has always worked, you'll now need four restraints and four points of attachment. That's more complicated that it sounds. You will want to think ahead, and you'll be very glad you did. On bondage scene night, scrambling around at the last moment, trying to gather what you need and figuring out where to tie the restraints, while your lovely submissive sits waiting - bored and cooling down? That's a situation to avoid. Plan the bondage scene, assemble what you'll need beforehand, and have everything within easy reach. Rehearse a little in your mind - think about, for instance, how you'll probably want to take her panties off before tying her legs apart. Anything you can prepare for ahead of time eliminates hesitation, and keeps the hot sexy bondage adventure boiling.

 

Decide what you'll use for restraints, and where you'll attach them. For instance, a standard "Hollywood" bedframe has four legs that make ideal attachment points for bondage ropes; four 6' long ropes will give you lots of possibilities. The first dedicated bondage gear I ever bought was black rope. After a while, though, seeing how much Bianca and I enjoyed bondage sex, we left the ropes tied to the bedframe's legs, allowing for spontanteous bdsm inspiration. And since it's just the two of us, tucking the ropes behind the bed skirt kept our secret private. You may need to be more discreet; kids and housekeepers can be nosy. The easiest, and arguably the best route to the spreadeagle position is by using bed bondage sets which are designed to fit under a mattress (like the illustration...), and provide four always-ready restraint straps with cuffs, which can be tucked away and hidden from view.

 

If you're using rope, remember, wrist and ankle ties have to be knotted correctly to avoid tightening when being pulled on hard, Since there will be lots of pulling on, you would do well to learn and practice secure, safe knot-tying; there's a wealth of videos on YouTube. There's two important guidelines:

 

• make sure you can fit a finger or two under the tied restraint

• no slip-knots...!

 

For the simplest, safest approach to spreadeagle bondage, we recommend using cuffs. Quick and effective, cuffs maintain a comfortable fit even when being pulled on tightly, and you don't have to be concerned about your knot-tying skills. There's a wide variety of materials, colors, and quality levels available, from simple fabric restraints that secure with Velcro straps, to buckling restraints made from handcrafted leather, and a dedicated set of cuffs makes a real bondage statement, sets the stage, and provides more intense feelings of restraint and submission. Of course, you'll still need rope, unless you start with a restraint set that includes four cuffs with already-attached tethers; these come in different styles, some with include blindfolds, whips or gags. There are tethers designed to tie, and adjustable-length versions with metal rings at the strap ends. Learn more about the different types of cuffs and restraints: RESTRAINTS

 

GO...!

Now, let's assume you are a male dominant, with an eager female submissive partner lying on her back, about to be tied in that classic bondage pose, Whatever type of restraints you've chosen, you've setup the bedroom and have  everything that you'll need nearby, right? Right. When exploring this new kink, we always recommend taking things slowly, and getting comfortable with things first. Follow your instincts - maybe you'll want to start with her wrists, or maybe with her legs. Either way take your time - there's many ways to play this.

You could cuff or tie your submissive's wrists together in front of her, while you tie her legs apart, then come back to untie her wrists, and restrain her arms apart. Or tie her bound wrists to the headboard while you restrain her legs, to limit her movement more; then come back and tie her arms apart. Longer teasing and bondage variation is hotter. Or go the other way - I will often cuff or strap Bianca's ankles together first, and tease her thighs and stomach, with a finger or a flogger or a vibrator, while taking my time restraining her arms apart. By the time I release her leg cuffs, and tie her legs wide apart, she's wriggling and pulsating. The level of arousal you can build in bondage sex is simply amazing. And at any point, adding a blindfold will increase the thrill by building unseen erotic anticipation.

 

To emphasize your control, once you've restrained your lovely submissive's arms and legs comfortably apart (baby steps...), then go back and make them ever-so-slightly tighter, pushing her limits. And later, you'll probably find you can tighten her restraints even more as you both get hotter, and she'll surrender, sometimes with a delicious gasp.

   
Now, maybe you’ll want to make your eager submissive's whole body quiver with a few smacks of the crop, or drive her to orgasm with a vibrator and nipple clips, or gag her, or all of that - whatever you do, she "can’t" stop you (of course, she really can - remember about safe words and bdsm always being 100% consensual...). Read: BONDAGE REALITY. The wider and tighter your lovely submissive is restrained, the less she’ll be able to move, the more vulnerable she’ll feel, and the more intensely she'll come; this assertion is personally-tested

 

There’s quite a few variations on this position that you can try. A full spreadeagle gives you unrestricted access to your lovely submissive's genitals, breasts, and everywhere between. To limit her movement even more, and raise the intensity level, re-tie her wrists together and at the top of the bed, while her ankles remain tied apart. Or try tying her ankles crossed, with her knees tied apart (you’ll need more rope…!), in a very restrictive position that offers premium access to her sensitive inner thighs, perfect for whip and crop pla; tough for intercourse, though..

 

Another variation is to tie your willing submissive face-down, in a classic spanking position. However, you must remain sensitive to her well-being, because she could experience difficulty breathing in this position; head and neck comfort are paramount. A small pillow under her chin will help. Face-down spreadeagle bondage can be very exciting for the dominant, and at the same time, deeply emotional and even frightening for the submissive, producing that enthralling mix of desire and apprehension that creates such intense arousal. It's edgy.

 

Whatever variations you do, stay sensitive to your partner's vulnerability and emotions, and treat her needs and pleasures equally as your own. Your attention and patience will be rewarded with astonishing, incredible sex, with practically limitless pleasure potential for you both.