SEXY BONDAGE UNIVERSITY

Most likely, the first time you try bondage, you'll use what you already have, like a scarf or belt, or a length of clothesline, or even your girlfriend's panties. And then, should you find you really enjoy bondage, you'll probably want something more, like black rope, satin tying sashes, wrist cuffs or leather straps. Bondage gear expressly for the purpose of sex and pleasure is immediately exciting, and makes the thrills even hotter. With so many ways to tie up your eager (and of course, consensual...) partner, learning about the advantages and disadvantages of different restraints helps you have the right one at the right time.

 

However, before going any further, there's a caution regarding safety, and here's the bottom line: you must always be able to release your bound partner quickly. Overly-tight restraints might cause circulation loss, unfamiliar positions can cause cramping, and the limited mobility can strain your lovely submissive's muscles, especially when she's pulling hard against those restraints (and she will be...!). And you need to establish and honor a "safe word", to immediately stop the action if necessary. Being sensitive to your partner's well-being will maximize pleasures for you both; bdsm sex is hotter when everyone's enjoying themselves. See BONDAGE REALITY.

 

Here's the main types of sexy bondage restraints, both from your closet and the sex shop, along with guidance and recommendations to help you determine what's best for your mutual pleasures.

 

STOCKINGS, PANTYHOSE & SCARVES

At first thought, it might seem sexy and tempting to use pantyhose as restraints, but there’s a dangerous safety concern. When pulled on, knots in pantyhose or stockings will quickly become too tight to untie, and you'll need a scissors to cut your now-annoyed submissive free. If you do chose to go this route, we highly recommend keeping a pair of blunt-tip scissors nearby.
 

Panties have temporary restraint possibilities. Whether taken only part way off, or down around her ankles, grabbing a handful of panty turns them into an effective restraint, as long as you're holding on; it's great for a taste of bondage, a light introduction, a new sensation if you've never tried it.   

 

Her scarf collection is tempting, but a scarf will knot almost as tightly as pantyhose, which means you risk having to cut up one of her favorites if you can't untie it later - making this a really bad idea. Instead, use scarves for blindfolds, or gags, especially with a big knot tied in the middle like a ball gag. For bondage, there's something else you already have which makes for exciting, safe and secure restraint: your belt collection.

 

BELTS

Belts are great restraints for bondage, with a classic look. Very quick and secure, and especially naughty when done with a belt either of you wear often (memories...!). There's one small limitation though; because belts generally fit a short range, there's not enough adjustment holes for everything you'd like to do, so be inventive. For instance, you might need to wrap a man's belt twice around your submissive's ankles to find buckling holes. Women's belts tend to be thinner and more flexible, making them great for wrist bondage. You might also consider using the belt from a robe; these are generally soft, easy to untie, and long enough for things like tying her wrists together, and then to the headboard. Belts are a great way to get started in sexy bondage.

 

If you enjoy the look and feel of strap bondage, there are special leather bondage straps available, made with holes almost the entire length, which allows for nearly unlimited adjustment. Strap bondage is hot; always keep a belt or two in the bondage drawer.

 

BONDAGE TAPE

There's a lot of duct tape bondage shown online, but we're not fans. If that's your (consensual...) thing, by all means, enjoy away. For an alternative, we recommend "bondage tape", a specially-formulated elastic vinyl which sticks only to itself. You can tie up your willing submissive just as quickly, easily, and securely, without any tugged hair or skin, or ripped silks. And then you can untie her just as easily. Good stuff.

 

Comes in many colors too, even clear. You can create sex outfits by wrapping enough tape around your lovely partner's hips to form a skirt, for instance. Bondage tape is inexpensive, and usually comes in 35ft rolls; with care, it's re-usable.

 

TYING SASHES

The most popular type of purchased bondage restraints are silk or satin tying sashes. These are made in different lengths, material weights, and colors from white to deep purple to black, usually with stitched and finished edges. They're generally sold in packages of two, with larger sets also available. Because these sashes are wide, thick, and designed for bondage, knots have less tendency to pull impossibly tight, however, that can still happen, so keep those scissors nearby!

 

Silks and satins are sensual fabrics which warm to the touch and absorb the wearer's scent (think: lingerie...), and tying sashes are soft, gentle restraint - in your lovely submissive's favorite color, or even lightly perfumed. Like scarves, sashes also make great blindfolds and gags. Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey, men's grey ties have become instant classic bondage restraints, and are available in sex stores, not only department stores.

 

A new variation of the tying sash is a simple, double-loop satin wrap which tightens by pulling the ends, quickly forming soft wrist or ankle cuffs. These combine sensual feel with surprisingly effective restraint, for exploring light bdsm in a gentle way, just right for first-timers tasting the thrill of bondage. Tying sashes can deliver lots of naughty, intense pleasure, and they make a great addition to anyone's toybox. Owning a pair (or two...) of these just for sexy bondage means immediate excitement and hot anticipation whenever they're brought out...!

 

ROPE
Ah, rope. The classic restraint for simple or elaborate bondage, from tied wrists to Shibari suspension, comes in many materials and textures, different colors, and various thicknesses. You might start (as I did...) with soft white nylon rope from the hardware store, until you're ready for something more, like the indescribably hot look of black rope...and black lingerie...wrapped around your lovely submissive. And because this rope is meant only for naughty pleasures, it's charged with sex and stylish heat. You'll always remember that hardware store rope though.

 

Rope makes much safer restraints, especially soft cotton or silk rope, which are the easiest to untie. However, you must be careful with knot-tying; we recommend searching online for guidance; here's one of our favorites: SNARE KNOT. 

 

When using ropes, for example, around your partner’s wrists, be sure to leave enough slack to fit two fingers between the rope and her wrist; this provides a level of comfort, and allows unimpeded circulation. DO NOT use any knot that tightens when pulled, like slip-knots; these can too easily cut off circulation in the struggle and pull of passions. Practice on yourself, and enjoy a little self-bondage at the same time!

 

Beyond simple wrist and ankle ties, the ways to use rope are nearly unlimited, from breast bondage and full-body restraint to sophisticated, formal sex poses practiced in the Japanese art of Shibari. Different materials are best for different types of bondage; for instance, jute rope is traditionally used in suspension Shibari, because of its strength and texture, whereas the softer silk and cotton ropes are popular for bedroom bondage.

 

Rope for bondage is generally braided and 1/4" diameter, and available in lengths from 6ft to a dungeon-sized 200ft, in colors from red to violet, to best coordinate with your bondage scene. We recommend starting with at least two 10ft lengths, enough to tie her wrists and ankles together or around the bedpost. And when it comes to rope, more is always better. You can also find adjustable rope cuffs with cinch closures, for fast bondage without knot tying.

 

Even when you move on to cuffs, you'll still want rope, to tie those cuffed wrists and ankles in new and inspired ways, or to wrap your lovely submissive from head to toe. You should always have a few lengths of rope in the toybox.

 

CUFFS

And now we come to cuffs.These formerly bdsm-only dungeon restraints have entered the mainstream, and now besides classic black leather, there's cuffs in leopard fabric, or satin and chains, or plush fur...and the list goes on. Whatever your personal style and interest level, there are cuffs to match. Metal handcuffs are popular, too, although we’re personally not fans. Even though they’re quick, easy and exciting to put on, they can quickly become painful  in the wrong position, bruising bones or worse. We recommend handcuffs as an inexpensive, easy way to try bondage sex. And where would those naughty police officer fantasies be without a pair of metal handcuffs?

When you've discovered that you really enjoy bdsm, it's time to consider restraint cuffs. A set of wrist or ankle (or both...) cuffs will benefit your bdsm adventures in big ways; even inexpensive ones will provocatively introduce you and your partner to the joys of sexy bondage. Wrapping and fastening a pair of cuffs around your submissive's wrists and ankles is a thrilling experience, and quite tantalizing for both of you. 

 

Bondage with cuffs is much more comfortable for your (willing...) submissive, and it's also easier and quicker for you, with no knot-tying required. Plus, your cuffed partner can now be safely and securely restrained in unlimited ways (remember that rope I mentioned earlier...?). Cuffs are available in all style and quality levels, from simple nylon straps with velcro closures, to high-quality, tooled and padded leather restraints, with lockable roller buckles. Different styles use various methods to connect the cuffs together or attach them to furniture and other bondage gear.